I always try to find beauty and inspiration in every aspect of life, but still I find myself in loss of words and ideas, if it’s for a story or a new blog post, so I am trying out writing a response post to this weeks Discover Challenge, which is “Chance Encounter”. Upon reading the introduction to this topic I immediately thought about one I recently encountered, while taking the tram to my English lecture.
It was about 11 o’clock, I was minding my own business, listening to music through my IPod, when a girl entered the tram and decided to stand in front of me, minding her own business, looking at something on her phone. I was mesmerized for some strange reason. There are a lot of beautiful things to see in this world, if it’s part of nature, humanity or a product of humanity itself. What I love most about beauty is that you’ll sometimes discover it in the strangest places at unexpected times, just as I was right then. Also beauty can present itself in the most different ways, and is not only found in perfection as lots of people may think, it’s there no matter if it’s the aura of a person, their blinding smile or the way they pronounce every single word in a way that makes them even more meaningful. So I was standing there, in the tram, not able to take of my eyes of them, I assume it was a female that at least identified as a woman, and asked myself what it was about her that made me react this way.
Her features were very soft and round, her hair was rather short and was beautifully died light blue with underlying streaks of purple and slight green, it was an artwork in itself. Also her clothing wasn’t rather usual, a white beautiful blouse, a black leatherjacket paired with wide jeans that were teared open at the knees and black patent leather shoes. She wore them with some sort of coolness and self-confidence I could only wish to have one day. I wasn’t able to look at her face directly, and also her physical features were mostly hidden by her baggy clothing, but still I could make out certain aspects of her look and again I was taken aback.
I know how the presence of a person alone, their aura, can influence your perception of them, but I wasn’t talking to her and I only met her seconds ago, so my next guess was if I maybe was attracted to her. Living in a heteronormative world I did assume the moment that sexuality became important to me that I was a straight girl. With time I did learn that sexuality is something fluid, that does not have to be pinned down and may change through time. Also I have always been able to detect people that were beautiful to me without paying any attention to their sex or gender, and knowing I was attracted to men I never deeply thought about my sexuality, as I live in a rather conservative family and knowing coming out as anything else that a heterosexual would have caused a lot of drama and confusion. Also I don’t feel the need to, as I am not even sure if bisexual is exactly something I would identify as when I never even had a slightly sexual encounter with anything other than men.
With that I want to say that this may not be the first woman I met that flabbergasted me and made me think of the option of exploring my sexuality, or maybe I don’t even want to change the label queer, even after experiencing and that is okay. I don’t want to make a big deal out of something as little as “One day I want to marry a man and have kids, but I also really want to kiss that woman I met on the tram the other day.” That chance encounter may have been wordless and short, I do not even exist in the mind of that beautiful, beautiful woman most probably, but it made me think and rethink about certain things, and inspired me to answer to this challenge. Also I had yet another opportunity to encounter beauty, and that’s AWESOME!