Heya, this is not about my sexuality, as you might think. I just want to talk about the topic sexuality, as there are many different approaches to it and a lot of misconceptions. I recently started to listen to Tyler Oakley’s podcast “Psychobabble” (I highly recommend it to all who want to have a laugh while listening to the latest star gossip or deep conversations). And one thing he mentioned really stuck in my head, that allies of the LGBTQ+ community should stand up to their beliefs and show openly that they are supportive. So let me do just that and give my opinion to some major misconceptions about sexualities.
- Misconception #1: Being gay is a choice
Let me tell you that I have read and personally listened to enough heart-breaking coming out stories or in general experiences that lots of LGBTQ+ people go through, to know that being gay in a heteronormative society is not a choice. The fear and hate some people grow up with makes children and teenagers feel so bad and out of place that in moments of weakness they either wish they were straight or never even existed in the first place and those are thoughts no kid should ever have, least of all because of their sexual orientation. Fact is they cannot change who they are or who they love and they should not be pressured to try by being sent to camps or forced to date or even have intercourse with the opposite sex. If strictly heterosexual person can’t make themselves fall in love with someone of the same gender, a homosexual can’t either, just as an aromantic/asexual person can’t fall in love or have sex with anyone.
- Misconception #2: Being gay/bi/… is unnatural
I find it very ironic and amusing how humankind compliments itself by stating they are extremely intelligent and such an advanced race, but when it comes to cases of rape or the topic of sexuality the arguments often base on our so called instincts to procreate. They are right in one point only, it amazes me how far we have come looking at our technology and all the possibilities we have. On another hand humans can be very irrational and almost stupid. We are so many on this planet and we have knowledge about so much in these times of the internet and social networks – people cannot possibly think that it is of importance for a man to be with a woman to preserve our race? There are so many abandoned children, whose number of cases could be easily decreased by choosing to let same-sex couples marry and actually adopt children. Also as I said, no one chooses their sexuality, so there is really nothing unnatural about that. By the way, there are also lots of animals who choose a same-sex partner. So what do you want to tell me, that dolphins rebel and choose to be gay? Yeah, thought so…
- Misconception #3: Gay people will turn my children gay/bi/…
No. Seriously what kind of logic is that? Apparently our gay Spanish teacher did not manage to turn any of my classmates gay and an openly gay friend could not prevent being homosexual by being surrounded by straight couples in school, in the TV and basically everywhere. Shouldn’t we all be heterosexual when the only thing they show us are heterosexual couples or over-sexualised men and women who have lots of meaningless intercourse with the opposite sex? As you see, it did not work because that is simply NOT how sexuality actually works. Grow up and do your research.
- Misconception #4: Being gay/bi/… is a new and modern lifestyle
And again – RESEARCH. Having a gay relationship was not only common in ancient Greece, but often even happily seen and recommended. I have also read of cultures that considered same-sex relationships as something sacred. So don’t try to tell me people only recently found out about those sexualities or identities, as transgender. All those interpretations have existed before, only no one put an actual name on them. Those feelings could only be vaguely described and not named. Today those sexualities and identities (of gender) have names and we can actively label ourselves IF we CHOOSE to (btw – watch “The Danish Girl”, such a good movie about a trangender man in the 1920s)
I do not want to aggressively change anyone’s minds. As an ally of the LGBTQ+ community I want to learn and educate other people, no matter if it’s about what’s fact and what’s fiction or what’s bi- and what’s pansexuality. I want to show people that even if they still don’t like the idea of anything else that is not heterosexuality, there are still ways to live without offending and insulting any of your fellows. There are ways to live in harmony, we only have to listen and learn.
If anybody can find someone to love them and to help them through this difficult thing that we call life, I support that in any shape or form.