Hi there! I guess I just start right off as always: I will never find my significant other. No, I am not a frustrated virgin that is seeking attention! Okay, right, I am not seeking attention… But point is, I am not sure I will ever find the right person to spend my life with.
I am young, too young to think about a proper relationship that will lead to a happy life ever after. Still I can’t forget about the kind of insult my sister threw at me (again), that I would never find a willing man to marry. Normally I’d say, that I’ll die alone then. This time I just rolled my eyes and continued my works. Still it made me think.
Yes, we are all special in our own ways, but believe me when I tell you I am special in my weird, kind of annoying, sometimes cute, but also maddening kind of way. It’s already hard for me to find really good friends that truly know and love me for who I am (or at least tolerate it, who am I kidding) – how am I going to find a man who would like to have sex with me on top of all that?? Yes, my first world problems are nothing compared to things the rest of the world has to deal with, especially these couple of weeks, but let me just ramble on about my non-existent love-life, which is going to stay that way for probably a very long time.
I had one “serious” relationship, but I was 15 and had too big of a crush to realize what kind of boring idiot that guy was. Yes, we went on dates and made out, but it wasn’t exciting in any way and I never felt like I could open up to him about anything. He just didn’t understand me. The only reason we stayed together for a year was because after a while I didn’t even try to see him more often, sometimes I would have forgotten I had a boyfriend (just mentally, I never was unfaithful in any way). Finally I broke up with him, when I asked him if he wanted this too, he said, “I don’t know, whatever you want.” That was the moment I knew for sure he didn’t care the slightest about me anymore and I broke up with him. I even shed a tear because I have spent a year of time and energy on that dumbass. *sigh* the cute people I could have made out with in that time… *SIIIGH*
And here I am now, at university, where most people seem to be in committed relationships and I try to look and act like a more mature woman while I still cannot let go of my Hello Kitty socks and Destiel. How do people even get on dates? I don’t go out that often, which does not help, but even if people that dance with me or seem interested that night, mostly don’t even bother to give me their phone number as if they already knew there is nothing going to happen between us furthermore. I just need a chance to show that deep down I am a very lovely person… no, really, I am a nice one.
Well, well I guess I have to keep saying how happy I am being an independent single woman that could have just anyone, right? Hey, maybe I’ll even find it to be nice being single, who knows. My friend told me about that cat-café on the other hand, a café with cats basically, so let’s check that out! 😉