Yes, I watch the series Supernatural. Yes, you should watch it too, it’s awesome.
But no, it’s not just fantasy and horror and totally boring. No, it still actually has a plot, even after 10 seasons. And most important of all: I finally found incredible characters I admire and learn a lot of. That’s why I want to start talking about these topics, comparing them with my own experiences and you know, just being the psychologist I am, I’ll rant a lot.
SO LET’S START!
Family don’t end with blood, but it doesn’t start there either.
What Bobby Singer wants to tell us basically is, that your friends can be your family too and your family on the other hand doesn’t have to actually BE your family. Continuing the quote through Dean Winchester, let me explain further that family doesn’t mean blood, but:
Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family’s there. For the good, bad, all of it. They got your back, even when it hurts.
And I don’t know about you, but I know that this description doesn’t fit on every one of my larger family. My cousin just backstabbed me, after me being awake till 1 o’clock every other night because she had problems in school or stuff she didn’t want to talk about. I was always there for her, but she used every moment with me to get false infrmation and let my family and me look bad in front of everybody else – she is not family to me. Those who did not congratulate me when I started studying, but rather didn’t talk to me because I didn’t reach their standards and expectations – they are not family to me. Those family members who would rather see me suffer than succeed – they are not and will never be family to me.
I feel bad for every child, every person that gets told how they have to be grateful for their family and love them unconditionally, when they get verbally and physically abused by them. It’s gone so far that I see people accepting their parents abusing ways to push them towards success, as them showing their love and care. And that’s definitely not okay. There will never be a good reason for your parent to hit and hurt you in any way. Or to call you names that rip you apart.
Still there is a difference between loving your parents and accepting what they did to you and loving your parents, but not accepting and tolerating what they did or do to you. I love my parents and am grateful for everything they gave me, but I’ll never forget the words that made me want to run away and never come back. I love my sisters and brothers for every time they stood up for me, for every loving memory and just being there. But truth is, that they never saw or acted on my depressions, while people that barely know me did.
Now to the other aspect: friends being family. Let me tell you, it’s not about perfect friends. Friends sometimes make mistakes and sometimes they also say he wrong things. It happens. It’s about them being by your side, no matter if you are succeeding in life or having your worst low. It’s about them helping you, without them thinking of ways you can pay them back. Friends are the family you choose because instead of being paired up with people you might not even like, you find those who love you no matter what. I always found the love of a friend being something very special. Mostly for the reason they don’t have to love you. You are not connected by blood, so there is no reason for them to love you. But they do and that is something you should cherish and hold onto and never take for granted.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my biological family from the deepest of my heart, but I know for a fact that not everybody does. And that’s completely okay.