Hello there! Welcome to a world where the human race is somewhere in between being open and tolerant towards others and totally closed up and conservative. If you ask why, you live under a rock. Watch the news.
Here is a personal story that, yes, is not that important, thinking about the fact racism and homophobia still exists, but still shocked me somehow.
The other day I wanted to walk into the building I live in, when I spotted a neighbour I don’t really talk to, but still see every now and then. So I did want to hold the door open for him. I, a young lady, holding the door open for a young man. Didn’t bother me in any way, until he said “No, it is alright”. I thought I didn’t hear him correctly and insisted on him walking into the building. Afterwards he did say thank you, adding “Normally it’s the other way around, haha” and I responded “Well, we do also live in the 21. Century, so.” I should not have to add that this was the most awkward elevator ride I have ever experienced. Adding a tight-lipped smile to my comment I stayed silent for the whole ride. I was offended. He was offended. It was awkward.
For heavens and hells sake, why would anybody feel offended if somebody holds the door open for them? Did I somehow attacked your masculinity, young man? Do you feel sterilised because a lady held the door open for you? Well, then I have to tell you that I enjoyed destroying your conservative look on the world and society, because I WOULD DO IT AGAIN, MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay, let’s get serious again.
I do know that it was common for a woman to walk behind men and to let them hold doors open for her, but didn’t we already grown as humans? Does society still think a woman is not capable to take care of anything? How do you expect the next generations to accept women in every job sector, as equal to men and as strong enough to make their own decisions, if we won’t accept a woman to hold the door open for a man when the situation is given?
I want to live in a world where a man holds the door open for me and vice-versa, not thinking what an awesome gentleman he is, but because he is a human being as much as I am and it is a form of politeness and respect. Yes, it is nice to get invited to dinner where you don’t have to pay, but I will never assume it (by the way: who invites mostly pays, unless stated or agreed otherwise). Yes, you should help someone, no matter what sex or gender, when they are having difficulties carrying heavy bags or something. And yes, even as a man you should offer your help to a man. I know the “Bro-Codex”, it is okay. Really, bro, really!
To any future “men-I-will-hold-the-door-open-for”: if you feel offended by a female that holds the door open for you, start looking for your confidence that has been buried, when society threw their standards on what “real men” have to be like on you. I feel sorry for you being raised in that way, just as many other men and women, but it is on you now to educate yourself and make a difference. I hope you make the right choices.
(Wow, that escalated quickly ^^)