The people-pleaser

You can’t make everyone happy. That’s it, say it after me: I can’t make everyone happy. And yeah, yeah, I know it’s not that easy, I know that you feel obligated and want to make the world a better place; I know because I am a people-pleaser too. I’m trying to change, so don’t judge me.

Here are three signs you may be a people-pleaser:

You can’t win (or the “I want to win, but you can’t be sad or angry, okay?”-person)
You are about to win a game? Gloriously even? Feels good, doesn’t it? NO, IT DOES NOT! (for us special people at least) Because chances are that the person losing is sad or mad and you feel like it’s your fault, when their just not as good or clever as you.
Solution: You are a champ and you deserve to win, so enjoy your victory! There is no need to feel bad for your success – even when it’s about you owning half the Monopoly board.

You take the worse (or the: “I love this movie, but yeah, you can have my seat while I’m going to try see something through this human giraffe”-person)
Whenever you hear your friend whine about their seat, chocolate bar or just anything really, you switch with them. Well great, now there is this weird guy sitting in front of you, you get the chocolate with raisins in it instead of nougat or any other worse version of something fantastic. 75% of the time you and I just can’t stand the whining. Seriously, it’s annoying.
Solution: HELL NO!  Allow yourself the good pralines or the better seat in the cinema, your friend or family member has to deal with it somehow and it’s not your problem. You are a prince/princess, so treat yourself like one too!

You do the work (or the: “Let me do the research, I wasn’t going to enjoy my weekend either way”-person)
Well, aren’t you the one and only one who doesn’t protest when given the hardest job in a group project in school or at work? Or when being asked to stay behind at a party to help cleaning up? I bet there are other people who are also able to help or are qualified enough to do a job by themselves just once. The world is not going to end. Unless you are God nothing too bad can happen, right?
Solution: Yeees, I know you will probably do a better job than all those unqualified people, but honestly: it’s okay to just once do nothing than design the PowerPoint. It’s super important too and it won’t keep you awake until 3 in the morning, so.

To sum it up: You come first and then all the others. You and I, we need to learn to make ourselves the biggest priority in our lives. After all it’s ours and it is a good life if you are happy. So get all the nougat and hazelnut pralines or just all of them if you like and just don’t care! (Be nice though J)

We are all Hobby-Psychologists

The first time I heard this expression was when my older brother and my father were arguing about parental education. Apparently my father is a hobby-psychologist because he interprets stuff and obviously knows everything about ones feelings and thoughts – well, without being a professional.

As rude as thr comment may seemed, I feel good calling myself a hobby-psychologist. Not only because everyone who knows me advices me to study psychology, but also because I naturally feel empathy and like to reveal a persons past and feelings to interpret their personality and actions. That is the point where it gets really interesting. Time and humanity created more and more stereotypes and prejudices so that girls with no real father figure become strippers and boys who are attached to their mothers will marry a girl who resembles her.

So where do I want to go with this? Maybe we all can listen to somebodys past or try to understand someones feelings, but after all everyone is unique and does not always fit in a shaped destiny with a bunch of other people. After all I am neither a stripper nor am I going to marry an actual copy of my father.

I am a hobby-psychologist; just like you.